Vive le Cult

We like

• Scotch eggs. The mini ones from Sainsbury’s are best eaten in handfuls when alone. Sssh
• Smoking rollies. It makes me feel young and laidback. And I’m not, particularly.
• Rumours by Fleetwood Mac. The greatest album ever should be listened to with a rollie in one hand, just like mum and dad used to.
• Denise Richard’s – It’s Complicated. And it’s funny. She says fuck a lot and has a loud laugh. Just like us.
• Purple nail polish. What was I doing pissing about with red all this time?
• Naps. How on earth did I survive a whole day in an office without one?

We hate

• The Olympics. If you like sport so much go and do some.
• People who ask where your dress is from. Yes it is  Primark and no I didn’t watch that documentary.
• Coriander in my salad. How did we get here?
• The Ting Tings. She has an arrogant face and only one song.
• The Tudors. Don’t bother watching series 2. If you must, watch The Other Boleyn Girl instead. Neither are that good.
• Other people on the tube during the day. Why are there so many of you and why aren’t you at work?